Loren Meier asked:
Let’s talk about rules, rules with a positive twist, Law of Attraction style. The Law of Attraction is a law of the universe. Like the Law of Gravity and “Don’t wear white after Labor Day”. The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. Negative thoughts attract more negative thoughts and negative experiences, and positive thoughts create more positive thoughts and positive experiences.
Have you ever noticed, if someone in your household starts bugging you, pretty soon everyone and everything starts bothering you? This is the Law of Attraction working. You start only focusing on and notice the negative and eventually all you want to do is escape from your “pain in the booty” family. On the other hand, if you are in a great mood when you get home, you notice how sweet your children are and focus on how much you love and adore them. The things that bugged you before now seem charming and could even make you laugh. The Law of Attraction centers on how you choose to direct your thoughts, emotions, and focus. Well, that was a very brief description of the Law of Attraction and I will go into it in more detail in future articles, so stay tuned.
This is where changing your rules and words become so important. When you stop using words like No, Don’t, Can’t, Shouldn’t and other negatives, you will start attracting positive feelings and results. It is very hard for people and especially kids, to quickly figure out that they are not supposed to do something and then turn around what they aren’t supposed to do, into what they should do. If you tell your child “Don’t hit her!”, your child’s brain has to take a few moments to stop what they are doing and think. “Oh, hitting is what I’m not supposed to do, so that means I’m supposed to be nice; touch gently; keep my hands to myself, which I guess means I shouldn’t be popping this kid in the face right now! Oops!” Meanwhile, it’s too late and your child just smacked the other kid and is now known around town as Rocky. Ouch! To make thing clear and easier for your child and to get more effective results and fewer black eyes, tell your child what you want and expect from them.
Instead of “Don’t hit him!”, say touch nicely, keep your hands to yourself, touch with loving hands. I have found, it is a lot easier to say with out raising my voice. I would sound kind of crazy screaming “ONLY LOVING TOUCHES!” in a grocery store line.
Set up a meeting time to talk to your family, to make new rules together, “Nice Rules.” Talk about all of the rules that you have now and turn them around from a negative to a positive. They will be more direct and easier to follow.
Here are some examples of nice rules that I have set:
“Don’t be rude.” Turned into, “use nice words”, or “use a nice tone”.
“Stop yelling.” Turned into, “talk softly”, or “use your inside quiet voice”.
“Stop Running.” Turned into, “use your walking feet”, or “slow down”.
“No standing on the table.” Turned into, “keep your feet on the floor”.
“Stop picking your nose.” Turned into, “use a tissue”.
It may seem like a very simple thing to do, but I can guarantee that changing your words will be challenging for you at first. We have been taught to always say the negative and it is a challenge for me as well. I am constantly trying to change my words and I notice that the negatives slip out often, especially when I’m tired or frustrated, and this will happen. It is work, at first, but I have found that it does make a big difference in our moods and how effectively kids respond.
Here are some subjects to talk about with your family to help you set the rules that you want. Use what ever speaks to you and trash the rest. Some parents could be totally fine with children drawing on the wall, while others would go absolutely BONKERS over it.
You could talk about the following:
Being Kind
Using nice words
Loving each other
Having fun
Being happy
Smiling
Being thankful
Excepting people for who they are
What you like about your family
Gentle touches
Being healthy
Eating healthy
Healthy habits
Good communication
Talking about how they feel
Talk about what they want, instead of what they don’t want
I’m sure you too will be able to add your own positive rules to talk about. Each one of these topics could take you into a discussion with your family, bringing you even closer together.
These nice rules will help your child attract a more positive attitude, which will lead to a happy and rewarding life. If you and your child are feeling good and looking for the best in a situation instead of the worst, you will attract what ever you want into your lives. If you start thinking and speaking positively, you’ll be amazed at the change in your home environment. And you can kiss those unwanted black eye’s good bye. Well, of course accidents still could happen! Smile, and enjoy each other!
For more information on One on One Coaching, upcoming family workshops and to be added to her newsletter, you can e-mail Loren Meier at Loren@SparkLifeDesign.com , visit the web-site at www.SparkLifeDesign.com , or call (800) 633-2720
Create a video blog…instantly.
Let’s talk about rules, rules with a positive twist, Law of Attraction style. The Law of Attraction is a law of the universe. Like the Law of Gravity and “Don’t wear white after Labor Day”. The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. Negative thoughts attract more negative thoughts and negative experiences, and positive thoughts create more positive thoughts and positive experiences.
Have you ever noticed, if someone in your household starts bugging you, pretty soon everyone and everything starts bothering you? This is the Law of Attraction working. You start only focusing on and notice the negative and eventually all you want to do is escape from your “pain in the booty” family. On the other hand, if you are in a great mood when you get home, you notice how sweet your children are and focus on how much you love and adore them. The things that bugged you before now seem charming and could even make you laugh. The Law of Attraction centers on how you choose to direct your thoughts, emotions, and focus. Well, that was a very brief description of the Law of Attraction and I will go into it in more detail in future articles, so stay tuned.
This is where changing your rules and words become so important. When you stop using words like No, Don’t, Can’t, Shouldn’t and other negatives, you will start attracting positive feelings and results. It is very hard for people and especially kids, to quickly figure out that they are not supposed to do something and then turn around what they aren’t supposed to do, into what they should do. If you tell your child “Don’t hit her!”, your child’s brain has to take a few moments to stop what they are doing and think. “Oh, hitting is what I’m not supposed to do, so that means I’m supposed to be nice; touch gently; keep my hands to myself, which I guess means I shouldn’t be popping this kid in the face right now! Oops!” Meanwhile, it’s too late and your child just smacked the other kid and is now known around town as Rocky. Ouch! To make thing clear and easier for your child and to get more effective results and fewer black eyes, tell your child what you want and expect from them.
Instead of “Don’t hit him!”, say touch nicely, keep your hands to yourself, touch with loving hands. I have found, it is a lot easier to say with out raising my voice. I would sound kind of crazy screaming “ONLY LOVING TOUCHES!” in a grocery store line.
Set up a meeting time to talk to your family, to make new rules together, “Nice Rules.” Talk about all of the rules that you have now and turn them around from a negative to a positive. They will be more direct and easier to follow.
Here are some examples of nice rules that I have set:
“Don’t be rude.” Turned into, “use nice words”, or “use a nice tone”.
“Stop yelling.” Turned into, “talk softly”, or “use your inside quiet voice”.
“Stop Running.” Turned into, “use your walking feet”, or “slow down”.
“No standing on the table.” Turned into, “keep your feet on the floor”.
“Stop picking your nose.” Turned into, “use a tissue”.
It may seem like a very simple thing to do, but I can guarantee that changing your words will be challenging for you at first. We have been taught to always say the negative and it is a challenge for me as well. I am constantly trying to change my words and I notice that the negatives slip out often, especially when I’m tired or frustrated, and this will happen. It is work, at first, but I have found that it does make a big difference in our moods and how effectively kids respond.
Here are some subjects to talk about with your family to help you set the rules that you want. Use what ever speaks to you and trash the rest. Some parents could be totally fine with children drawing on the wall, while others would go absolutely BONKERS over it.
You could talk about the following:
Being Kind
Using nice words
Loving each other
Having fun
Being happy
Smiling
Being thankful
Excepting people for who they are
What you like about your family
Gentle touches
Being healthy
Eating healthy
Healthy habits
Good communication
Talking about how they feel
Talk about what they want, instead of what they don’t want
I’m sure you too will be able to add your own positive rules to talk about. Each one of these topics could take you into a discussion with your family, bringing you even closer together.
These nice rules will help your child attract a more positive attitude, which will lead to a happy and rewarding life. If you and your child are feeling good and looking for the best in a situation instead of the worst, you will attract what ever you want into your lives. If you start thinking and speaking positively, you’ll be amazed at the change in your home environment. And you can kiss those unwanted black eye’s good bye. Well, of course accidents still could happen! Smile, and enjoy each other!
For more information on One on One Coaching, upcoming family workshops and to be added to her newsletter, you can e-mail Loren Meier at Loren@SparkLifeDesign.com , visit the web-site at www.SparkLifeDesign.com , or call (800) 633-2720
Create a video blog…instantly.
